I wanted to be a doctor for real

Peace be upon you,

I have been busy for the past weeks
just went back from Miri to visit my bestfriends
and been trying hard to save money by selling cinnamon roll
Alhamdulillah, so many people help me to promote it
im so thankful and may Allah swt bless them all. :')

I still don't know when exactly the time for me
to start my HOship
My friend and I still hoping we start to work on april
there's so many rumors circulate around saying eHOmen
will be open at the end of this march.

I hope its gonna be true
I really wanted to start working asap
I can't wait any longer
the more we wait, the more weak our skills will become
it is so frustrating to unable to practice medicine after graduating
I admit I feel really good just being at home and unemployed
but at the same time, i feel bad for unable to utilize all the medical knowledge
into a practice. And they said lazy brain will caused you to have risk to get alzheimer (nyanyuk)
So, it is important to always have critical thinking to have a good brain.
*Being home just makes me feel lazy to read, lazy to study and utilizing my brain. LOL

I miss being in the ward
I miss talking to patient
listening to their story made me realise that I should be grateful
for whatever I have and seeing them back on their feet again very much makes me happy
I miss having a discussion with friends deciding the right diagnosis
I miss going to class and learned new things from my lecturer
and moreee!
I know that this feeling will change too one day
some of my friends said, you will feel disgusted and stressed with your job
and wish to be back unemployed since you will be on your lowest hierachy in medical field
where people will blame you though it is not your fault (ppl will always find a person to blame on)
where patient will disrespect you, and didn't believe in you since you are a new doctor
you might be bully by the senior and other endless shitty things that can break you down.
*stay strong heart*

I think it is not wrong to miss something that you used to do before
and this is just a temporary stop,
I will eventually be in that phase again where tears will be my loyal companion,
for the time being, I wanted to enjoy this moment at home,
with all my friends and family,
and keep praying that I would get my placement faster in the best Hospital for me, insyaAllah.

Prayer from all of you are much welcomed. Thank youuu :)

-drfina-