Write down your thoughts

Peace be upon you readers :)

I love writing
Writing makes me feel free
pouring out everything that I feel in a diary very much help me
in releasing anger, sadness or even happiness
because some personal things just can't be share with other people
it is hard to trust people nowadays
so, the best way to release your stress or anger is by putting it into words
either on a piece of paper /electronic devices

I found that by writing
i feel much better because you can write everything you feel freely
since no one gonna read it except you
and you can always erased it later when you feel you need to *laugh*

I like writing so much that I usually write everywhere
sometimes in my phone, ipad, diary/journal and etc *lol*
and when i get bored, sometimes i read it back
not to get back into the past but,
 to remind myself back that, how far i've been go through this life
sometimes I laugh to myself
how stupid i was back then, getting sad or anger on silly things
but that is how i learned to become a better person

time very much change everything
growth and change takes time
just like Allah swt created the time for the babies to achieved certain growth level
all perfectly well-planned by Allah swt
and i realised sometimes, Allah swt put me into similar  hardship
because by persistent repetition, that is how I grow and remember better

back to writing again... Im going out of topic pula.
I usually write in english, I love writing in english
because Im bad at this language
so, in order to improve this language, i choose to write in english
and even listen to english lecture or movies to increase my vocab capacity ;)

what I usually write?
hurm.. i write very much about everything
sometimes I picked up some good phrase from people
and write it in my HP or paste it on anywhere i able to see often
because i get easily inspired by words
I write about my life in my own journal
or shared some inspiring stories from other people

I think writing has been one of my coping method for stress
it is effective for me, but not for all of us
some people didn't know how to express their feeling through writing
I prefer writing than telling people about what I feel
only to some people that i feel very near to me
and i'm comfortable with, that I usually tell them my story
To those people that are near to me, the one that I usually look for
thank you so much for being there, for listening when i need you
I hope Allah swt grant you what you wished for in life :)
All of you will always be in my prayer...

You know who you are :)

A good end

Peace be upon you dear reader, :)

Im now feeling sleepy but trying hard to fight it
I woke up at 4am this morning
making my friend's cinnamon roll for her office party
Gonna take power nap in the afternoon later :)

I've been hearing sad news these days
people passed away, friend's family, friend's of friend and etc...
Thinking about it often, about death...
I mean, not suicidal thought though *laugh*
but, some self-reminder of how short our life is kan?
Every living will face death
and return to the One created us.

Everytime i heard people passed away,
i said to myself, am i ready? am i good enough to enter jannah?
of course, no one wanted to be in hell kan?
everyone aim to enter jannah..
but am i worth enough for jannah?
Do my good deeds are enough to enter His paradise?
*sigh*

Do you know about the story of late Dr Idzni who've been fighting
for renal cancer but still striving hard to live and keep spreading positive words to people?
I never know her in person,
I only know her through her post in ig, and her viral story in FB
She was recently married for 1 year and she died on her 1st anniversary
She was such a strong soul
when she died, a loooottt of people spreading good words about her
misses her and wishing good prayer for her..
So many people love her and admire her strength getting through the disease

Even I, myself affected by her passing...
I never know her in person but I feel sad too...
Good people will always be loved by others
will always be in other's prayer...
She left everyone with grace and love.

I very much wanted to be remember as a good person too when I died later,
I hope I did enough kindness and I hope when i leave later
people will get inspire with what i did or shared in this world
and will help me get through into jannah, amiinn.
Sometimes you never know, one small deed will change Allah's decision for you in akhirah.
So, don't underestimate the power of good deed even by only feeding the stray animal,
little that we know, the animal might ask Allah to put us into jannah :)  Wallahualam.

-sinner-

Can I be both?

Peace be upon you reader :)

I started my small home bussines again yesterday
I've been thinking to sell cinnamon roll since long ago
but i'm hesitate to do it initially because i thought
no one gonna buy it since not everyone are fond of cinnamon
Little that I know actually a lot of people in my hometown
love to eat the cinnamon roll.. lol
and first day of opening the order, a lot of people requested for it
MasyaAllah, i never expect it to be this so called 'hot selling item' :)
Praise belong to him :)

Back to the story of my home bussines
Since I graduated and not working
i've been trying to start small home bakery
baking some cakes, biscuits, brownies
and most of my customer ordered this through my mom
I made for wedding's door gift, for friend's birthday
made for a friend and some other events like chinese new year celebration and Eid.

I really really really love baking
I like to try new stuff, watching videos of it, googling some interesting recipes,
and I love to feed my families and friends from what I bake
It's normal to have negative feedback sometime
but that is how I learned to improve my baking skill :)
Btw, i never took any baking class before
I learned all from youtubes and reading through the internet
because i can't afford it since im still not working
I really love to but when I surveyed the tuition fees
I need at least rm300 and above to pay for the class
I have no money to pay for it, so the easiest way is to use what I have and learned from it
Im not that expert in this compare to other baker i see from ig and fb
but I never feel that I less than any of them
instead i always inspired by their products
and feel like to follow their steps too
slowly, but surely :)

You know, since graduating from medical school
i feel like doing both
be a doctor and a baker at the same time
how I wish I can be both
Like i've always dream to have my own bakery shop
where you can enjoy reading books, chilling
and having a cup of hot coffee with a sweet desert
and enjoy some leisure time with your favourite person.
Don't laugh but I also wanted to pursue
culinary arts in overseas one day in the near future
like taking a break for awhile from my job
and take short courses in culinary :)
Aaaaaaaaa... so much dream to fullfill...

However, I love my career as a doctor too
I wanted to pursue in obstetric and gynaecology and
planned to open my own specialist clinic in my hometown
for all pregnant mothers and teenagers
am i being too greedy?
I wanted to do both...
can I?
Dream will always be a dream
some things can't co-exist together
you need to choose which one is your priority
I can still bake while im not working *sigh*
but I can't open my own bakery as...
my first priority is to save a life.

I guess i can be both in heaven
If i am worth for jannah *insert sad emojis*

Anyhow, prayer from anyone of you reading this
very much welcome :)
I really need it, may I be a good doctor insyaAllah and be able to achieve my dream. Amiinn.

-Dr 1st, baker 2nd-

                                           I presented to you some of my lil babies :)

Know your value

Peace be upon you dear readers,

This post I wrote dedicated for sisters out there,

Have you ever be in a position where you contemplating between letting go of people or to just stay?
Thinking will it be worth it to stay, to try hard or to just follow the flow without foresee what you wanted in the future?

I tell you sisters,
If you think those relationship are'nt going to be anywhere
and not seeing the clear picture what your aim for the future
it is better to leave as soon as possible before things going to be really hard
because the longer it takes for you to realise that its not gonna worth it
its gonna hurt really bad, i assured you.

You know,
women heart are as soft as cotton candy
maybe softer than that
they can be easily impressed, moved and even easily to win with good words and care
It is fitrah to need someone to be there always
but it is important to always realise that in anything you do
you should have something to achieved in a relationship that you're in now
Not just having someone to chat or talk
just to fill up your leisure time. No no

Dear sisters,
be clear what you want in life
Never ever settle for less,
be bold and never ever give up on finding someone that brave enough
to let you to be into their life,
who've never missed putting you in their future plan
and towards achieving blessed relationship, marriage.

Never ever feel that you are less than anyone else if they don't choose you
because, always believe that someone better is coming
and whatever happens, don't stop improving yourself day by day
always know that you are precious in the eye of beholder :)
Everyone will have their own happiness, keep believing and hoping and praying.

So, sisters,
be brave to ask your partner
be clear to them and always be honest
but never stop being kind to others.
because you never know what they've been through,
have patience as always remember that Allah loves the sabireen. <3 p="">Stay calm and redha.

The moment you took the decision to stop chasing for people acceptance
that is when you know that you are not dependable to other accept Allah swt.
Know your value and don't let others deceived you by their word and action.

May Allah swt makes us sisters among the blessed people and may He makes us istiqomah in this deen. amiin.

Lets always remind each other how precious we are and keep spreading positive words.
Berlapang dada lah :)

-Dr Fina-
<3 p="">-dedicated esp to myself-