Patient as my teacher

Peace be upon you,
May Allah blessed you readers,

I will be in charge in gynecology ward starting tomorrow.
We were supposed to have a class with Prof P on principle of chemotherapy and radiotherapy today. However, it was postponed to other slot because Prof was attending an operation today.

Then my friend and I went to pharmacy to get the meds for our friend, Joy.
She's not feeling very well these few days. Doc said she was having acute gastroenteristis.
It was around 2.45pm at that time after we done with getting the meds and decided to go to the gyne ward in 1 Utara to cover case for tomorrow's round.

I felt so sad leaving Obstetric ward as I really love talking to pregnant mothers. They were always happy and excited to talk about their pregnancy. So far, none of the patient refuse to talk to me. I love seeing their baby bump. It just gives me some sort of motherly mood. ;) *sindrom tak sabar nak ada anak*

Changing to gyne ward makes me feel sad. Gyne ward placed a lot of sad cases. Mostly cancer, miscarriage, fibroid and etc.

Today I met N. One of my patient that i clerked for tomorrow's round. A beautiful young patient, we are at the same age. She is currently pursuing diploma as dental technologist which supposed to be in her last sem this year. She was presented with abdominal mass since July 15. The mass gradually increase in size however she was 'okay'. The mas did not cause any signs or symptoms. She was worried of it and went to visit the klinik pesakit luar HRPZ in Feb 15 and refered here to HUSM.

I examined her tummy and find out the mass was exactly larger than i was expected. She was not in pain. Her mother was beside her looking worried seeing me palpating her tummy. She even asked "does it feel pain?". My patient just shook her head saying it wasn't painful.

I met another friend in my medical posting previously too. He's at my age. He was previously a photographer and stopped a year ago due to osteosarcoma. A very positive person and a good people. :)  He had to stop working and his interest in photography because of the illness. How sad was it? We became a good friend and I followed his case till now. I was impressed with his spirit to get better and he always inspire others who have similar illness as him. A very good person i tell you ;)

Being medical student sometimes makes me ponder upon my own life. Seeing patient with same age as me having underlying medical illness just makes me feel that I should be grateful of what I have now. I always think that my life is incomplete and felt unfortunate that I didn't have what i want not what I should have. Having a good health is a thing that should be grateful for. But to some people, money and properties are far more valuable than health and love. Money cannot buy both my dear. When you have billion dollars but you can't even move your body, how is it possible for it to make you happy?

However, to all patient that are having difficulties now, always remember that the Allah gives the hardest battle to His strongest soldier. You guys are the chosen one. Allah will forgives your sin with with every pain that you suffers from the illness. He loves you and wants you to remember Him. Verily that "every hardship comes ease". :)  

Dear patient, sister/brother,
you know what?
I always feel grateful that I met you
Seeing how strong you guys are
able to undergo all those challenges that God has given to you
All those painful procedure that you've gone through
and your sacrifices for all your dreams
I just couldn't imagine if I was in your shoes
God chooses the person who are able to endure all of these
as He knows that you will be able to get this through this difficulty with ease
He is there, always, seeing you and loves you
So, don't ever give up on him
He is the one who given this difficulties and
He are the one will get you through

Dear patient,
You are the reason that I still here
continue to finish what I had started
pray for me being a good Doctor,
and...
My prayer is for all of you my patient,
May Allah gives you blessings and His love,
May Allah strengthen you and cure your illness.
He knows better. stay strong dear.

Bucketlist

1. Umrah/Hajj with family 

2. Having a house full of cats

3. O&G specialist 

4. Pass Pro 3

5. Playing with snow

6. Flying Fox

7. Backpacker

8. Travel with friends

9. Own some property worth a billion ringgit

10. Being a good doctor :)

11. Dolphin 

12. Hugging panda

13. Visit Turki 

14. Hot air baloon

Dear patient

Praised belong to Allah swt.

First of all i would like to wish you happy new year 2016!

I hope everyone have a clear vision and mission for this upcoming year.

Im in my second week of medical posting currently

Theres nothing much different than my year 4 posting except for new supervisor and some new posting which is hematological ward posting.

So far, i am still trying my best to catch-up myself with all the disease seen in the ward.

Final year is no joke

People already started to visualize us as a doctor

And we try our best to potray to the patients and our lecturers that we are capable of being a 'safe doctor'.

Sometimes, at some point in our life we felt exhausted and frustrated with ourselves. My lecturer told me, we are not a robot. We also a human, just like you. We have emotion, and it is normal to feel that way. Sometimes, we need a break to sort things out and to get ourselves back together. 

And it is dangerous to not having any feeling or emotion, as you need it to feel empathy towards your patient and love towards your job. So, cry if you lost your patient, laugh if you feel its funny, fight if you think its necessary for your patient's wellbeing and rest if you feel you had reach your limit.

As for me, medical posting is challenging in a way of keeping myself continuously revising all the important common diseases and its management. Yes, it is challenging to remember all of it. Sometimes, i feel like my brain exploding with all of this info's and need to vomit it all back to relieved the loads. 

Dear patient,

Being a doctor is not easy..

This journey never been easy..

Let me tell you how the journey be like...

We were told to 'do no harm' to you

We were told to do 'justice' to you

We hold to this oath & principle in our heart

Treating you would be like treating our family members

So, losing you would also be like losing to our own family members

In order to not losing lives in our hand

We need to burn midnight oil to make sure we are equipped with adequate knowledge 

For that took us to sacrifice a lot of things in our life

Relationships, family, hobby, rest, eating and even a time for ourself

So dear patient,

A sense of gratitude from you

Will be more than enough for us

To feel good about ourselves and to lift our spirit back during our bad days

And what makes us more happy is..

Seeing you being able to smile again

And waiving to us saying goodbye leaving us in a good condition.

That is all we need..

District with my girls

Bismillah...

Community med posting in pasir mas has ended.

Such a wonderful 2 weeks experience in district especially with my babes all in one apartment.

I get a good food, good sleep, good care, good time with all of them. We did the dishes, cook and bake together. Theres soo many wonderful and good memories with them. I love each and everyone of my girls. They are like my own sister.

I miss loudness of the house. Playing card (bluff) with em. Singing and dancing together before sleep. Doing anaest report while listening to our fav song together. Teasing and laughing at each other. Fooling and goofing around. Omg... Soo many fun things we've done together. Not to forget when we felt incomplete when one of us fall sick. And how concern we were to each and everyone of us.

To all my girls,
U guys brought sun to my gloomy day,
Brought smile to my frowning face,
Brought the rhythm for me to dance,
Create good memories for me to recall during my old days,

Each of everyone of you are irreplaceable,
Thank you for pouring lots of love in our friendship,
I hope it blooms beautifully as the flowers during the spring,
May Allah blessed and showered all of you with happiness,
As what i remember you guys are.

I hope everyone remember these moments even after we're not together anymore. Even after we met new besrfriends later in our life, never forget the good and bad moment that we shared along our journey together. I love u guys!