Agitate

Peace be upon u 

In the name of Allah, The most Gracious, The most merciful.

now, 0846. Friday.

Okay, supposely i was at work now. school canteen, helping my mom at the canteen school.

something bad happen today. The story was more likely happened like this :

.........................

..........................

0400 am

my parents took all the workers and sent them to the canteen.

to prepare all the food to be sell.

0545 am

My parents fetched me at home.

..........

0620am

I arrived at the canteen n begins my usual chores, 

arranged all the kuih-muih on the counter to sell. 

n all the sausages+ nugget or anything that supposed to be sell.

I also treating the customer esp all the teachers 

and taking the order.

when i was arraging or putting the kuih-muih on the tray,

the A worker complaint to me that something had happened while my mom/ dad 

went home fetching me. 

Previously, (past) there was also a misundertanding between the chef and the other workers.

The chef was the two mak cik , their age around 45  if im not mistaken n one of them ever had an argument with the worker C (prepare/ making drink/ beverage's ppl).

The past argument was already had been forgotten.

But the impact/ wound was still there.

The causes of the 1st argument because of the lack of one ingredient for cooking. The ingredient is probably just a mixed veggie and could still be replaced by another veggie rite?

But the mak cik maybe had an "A" personality because everything should be perfect for her. She blame the worker C for forgetting to write on the list the stuff that had 'out of stock'. and, there it goes.. argument start, blaming here n there. that was the past,when i wasnt there.

I was helping my mom to buy something at the market at that time. 

 The argument end with one of the mak cik decided to resign. 

My mother was anxious that time, because its hard for us to find a new chef.

my mother coax her so that she wouln't resign.

n she doesnt resign.

What happen today was...

the causes still the same, the difference was just I was there...

so, back to the topic, I was there n the worker A complaint that the two mak cik had accused him for telling lies or manipulated the truth. He feel depressed because everyday mak cik always mumbling with each other and gave him a weird gaze.  

While Yesterday, the worker A and all the mak cik had confessed to my mom that, one of our workers are stealing the time off from working by talking at the phone most of the time (that is Tipah.age around 16). It is true because I also telling my mom about it because I saw it myself.

But.. what had happened here today was, Tipah was angry and thought that mak cik complaint to my mother about her. talking at her back. (mybe worker A had told something to her during packing the nasi lemak ; their responsibility) *batu api sana sini*

Then, when I heard his story, I feel angry because, come onlah, this is working place people,

where is our cooperation?

commitment ?

n professionalism?

I felt so annoyed n I think this is it!

I had my patience off. I should confronted Tipah n stop this childish argument n accept the fact that she was guilty.. stop blaming people on what u had done girl. 

I was so angry... Do u think I have right to be angry?

This was the first time in my working time I was really angry, I cant work in this kind of environment anymore. Everyday, there's a complaint.

I was stress n feel so disgusted.

I waited for Tipah to come back to canteen with my parents from supplying RMT from pekan 2 school.

....................

They arrived. 

Then, I confronted Tipah, me and her outside the canteen.

try to avoid our conversation being heard by other workers

n I don't want to humiliate her in front of the workers 

I let my anger conquer me, I mad at her and told her everything. I was mad n I cried.

n my parents was confused, what had happened, because they weren't there when the chef and worker A was debating on each other. blaming each other. But, i was there. witnessing everything.

My father interfere in our conversation

YES, he had the right to interfere.

I thought it will be ended there,

I was wrong, instead, my father called all the workers and start discussing about these matter.

Then... there it goes again, blaming on each other..

My anger cant be controlled anymore

and I raise my voice n shouted

"EVERYONE WAS WRONG, SO U HAVE NO RIGHT TO BLAME ON EACH OTHER HERE!"

One of the Mak cik was startled n begins to blaming on herself everything right away n raise her voice at my father that she was going to resign. I felt so guilty when the mak cik said " xpa, mak cik yg salah, kamu ank bos kamu pnya tempat nie, so kamu mmg ada hak la mo tegur mak cik".

I was.... hurt.

This isnt about my position in that canteen that makes me want to boast or anything. 

This was about the profesionalism in work.

I just want the cooperation n satu hati. thats all. 

And now, YES

i felt guilty for raising my voice to everyone.

I was mad n I am sorry. Im sorry for making things worst.

I disrespect the elder.

Ya Allah... i never have an intention in raising my voice to them.

I felt so guilty. The discussion should be resolved amicably.

Then, the mak cik decided to resign for the second time.

and my mom cannot do anything and just accepting the resignation because i'd seen that my mom also had become disgusted with all the argument. So many blaming here and there.

I dont know, what was actualy my mom's feeling. whether satisfied or sad or anything...

After all the madness, I feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllttt so so so guilty because i shoulnt be angry.

rite?

i shoulnt, 

I seek for mak cik forgiveness before im going home.

but i dont know whether she accept my forgiveness or not.

I felt so sad right now.

Ya Allah.. pls forgive me...

Im burdening my parents to find another chef. 

I was stupid enough for responding like that.

I dont want to be like 'me on the past'.

hot tempered. I dont want it to come back.

Please, tell me, what should i do?

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