I wanted to be a doctor for real

Peace be upon you,

I have been busy for the past weeks
just went back from Miri to visit my bestfriends
and been trying hard to save money by selling cinnamon roll
Alhamdulillah, so many people help me to promote it
im so thankful and may Allah swt bless them all. :')

I still don't know when exactly the time for me
to start my HOship
My friend and I still hoping we start to work on april
there's so many rumors circulate around saying eHOmen
will be open at the end of this march.

I hope its gonna be true
I really wanted to start working asap
I can't wait any longer
the more we wait, the more weak our skills will become
it is so frustrating to unable to practice medicine after graduating
I admit I feel really good just being at home and unemployed
but at the same time, i feel bad for unable to utilize all the medical knowledge
into a practice. And they said lazy brain will caused you to have risk to get alzheimer (nyanyuk)
So, it is important to always have critical thinking to have a good brain.
*Being home just makes me feel lazy to read, lazy to study and utilizing my brain. LOL

I miss being in the ward
I miss talking to patient
listening to their story made me realise that I should be grateful
for whatever I have and seeing them back on their feet again very much makes me happy
I miss having a discussion with friends deciding the right diagnosis
I miss going to class and learned new things from my lecturer
and moreee!
I know that this feeling will change too one day
some of my friends said, you will feel disgusted and stressed with your job
and wish to be back unemployed since you will be on your lowest hierachy in medical field
where people will blame you though it is not your fault (ppl will always find a person to blame on)
where patient will disrespect you, and didn't believe in you since you are a new doctor
you might be bully by the senior and other endless shitty things that can break you down.
*stay strong heart*

I think it is not wrong to miss something that you used to do before
and this is just a temporary stop,
I will eventually be in that phase again where tears will be my loyal companion,
for the time being, I wanted to enjoy this moment at home,
with all my friends and family,
and keep praying that I would get my placement faster in the best Hospital for me, insyaAllah.

Prayer from all of you are much welcomed. Thank youuu :)


Embrace the present

"Maybe you lose one thing to gain another thing that is better for you. Sometimes we just can't have all of it together. Didn't Allah said, we may think that thing is good for us but it is not, and we may think it is bad for us, but it is actually good for us. In the end, Allah has already plan the best and suited plan for us.

So, learning to let go does not mean we give up. Perhaps it is a good thing to know where to stop and hope and embrace for the present, for what is within our reach, and make the best out of it.

Jadi bagi jiwa yang sentiasa bersyukur, seharusnya tiada langsung ruang untuk berasa sempit dan kesedihan di atas kehilangan sesuatu yg tidak hakiki" -Kak Hidayah


Life is like a wheel

Peace be upon you everyone! :)

First of all, praised belong to Allah swt
for all the happiness and blessings :)
I have created another new flavour for my cinnamon roll
It taste so good masyaAllah esp when eaten with dark chocolate topping!
Full of chocolate and to those chocolate lover out there
It will cause an addiction, i warn you >.< kidding. *just being an over-dramatic*
Currently waiting for my friend to critic the new flavour
so that i can improve the dough before i sell it to others :)

I hope everyone gonna love this new flavor
Oh ya, and I did some addition to the filling which is chocolate chip
I am soooo happy it turns out to be good, Alhamdulillah
My family love it too :)

You know,
actually my initial product was not a cinnamon roll
I started my bussines with selling congo bar and brownies
and taking some order for biscuits too
but it doesn't turn out to be like I wanted it to be
Maybe because so many people selling similar item too

I sell congo bar and brownies in one box only for 2 weeks
then, i decided stop doing the box set and delivery
I opt for 1 tray order instead
because I have not many customer at that time
and I still remember who placed their order during that time
I am sooo thankful that they support me  :)
May Allah swt bless them.. :')

I then stopped doing bussines for awhile
because I wanted to focus on my SPA interview..
I just took request order rather than opening for COD
After SPA interview, I decided to start again
and wanted to try cinnamon roll since i never saw people sell it here in Labuan
Plus, I wanted to save some money too, to visit my bestfriends :)

So, what I wanted to say here is...
You might not be succesful on your furst step of doing something
but never stop trying and analyze why that happened..
Then, start again and again and again and again
until you achieve your goal :)
Never stop pray to Allah too, because He is the one who will give you the success :)

And when you are on top of your career
never look down on people
because life can turn upside down in a blink of an eye
anything can happen. *note to self*
stay humble and always be kind whenever how hard life hits you *note to self*
I can sometimes be so weak that I let my emotion control over me.
It is important to always be calm and don't let anything brings you down
you may be failed at first attempt but always believe something bigger awaits you :)
stay positive, and proved to the people that you can be successful too
but but but, remember that success doesn't come without effort
work hard and leave the rest to Allah swt :)

For me, if people treat you bad, say bad things to you
the best revenge is to show them that you are capable of doing great things
that will eventually cause them to shut their mouth.
Keep believing in yourself, people. Everyone have their own potential to shine. Have faith :)


Write down your thoughts

Peace be upon you readers :)

I love writing
Writing makes me feel free
pouring out everything that I feel in a diary very much help me
in releasing anger, sadness or even happiness
because some personal things just can't be share with other people
it is hard to trust people nowadays
so, the best way to release your stress or anger is by putting it into words
either on a piece of paper /electronic devices

I found that by writing
i feel much better because you can write everything you feel freely
since no one gonna read it except you
and you can always erased it later when you feel you need to *laugh*

I like writing so much that I usually write everywhere
sometimes in my phone, ipad, diary/journal and etc *lol*
and when i get bored, sometimes i read it back
not to get back into the past but,
 to remind myself back that, how far i've been go through this life
sometimes I laugh to myself
how stupid i was back then, getting sad or anger on silly things
but that is how i learned to become a better person

time very much change everything
growth and change takes time
just like Allah swt created the time for the babies to achieved certain growth level
all perfectly well-planned by Allah swt
and i realised sometimes, Allah swt put me into similar  hardship
because by persistent repetition, that is how I grow and remember better

back to writing again... Im going out of topic pula.
I usually write in english, I love writing in english
because Im bad at this language
so, in order to improve this language, i choose to write in english
and even listen to english lecture or movies to increase my vocab capacity ;)

what I usually write?
hurm.. i write very much about everything
sometimes I picked up some good phrase from people
and write it in my HP or paste it on anywhere i able to see often
because i get easily inspired by words
I write about my life in my own journal
or shared some inspiring stories from other people

I think writing has been one of my coping method for stress
it is effective for me, but not for all of us
some people didn't know how to express their feeling through writing
I prefer writing than telling people about what I feel
only to some people that i feel very near to me
and i'm comfortable with, that I usually tell them my story
To those people that are near to me, the one that I usually look for
thank you so much for being there, for listening when i need you
I hope Allah swt grant you what you wished for in life :)
All of you will always be in my prayer...

You know who you are :)