Inexorable Hope 1

Peace be upon u dear readers, :)

Praised belong to God, for giving my friends and I the opportunity to be involve in the surgical training at Tzu Chi University, Hualien, Taiwan on 3-12 December 2013. :)
After all, Allah is the best planner.

I had received email from Tzu chi during the early negotiation with their international officer regarding this silent mentor programme. However, it then end with disappointment when they say only 2 of us will be accepted to attend the programme. The disappointment continue after our appeal also being denied. Everyone was disappointed. I felt very frustrated when it turned out to be 'not me' who are the one will be attending this programme. I cried... I want it so bad... My group which comprise of 2 guys and 3 ladies (including me) decided to split up since two of the ladies will be going there based on the random vote. I guess it wasn't my luck on that day. So, the two guys and me were planning to do a research regarding parasite in Malaysia.

One of our method to get an information for our research is going to visit the one and only parasite museum in the world, Meguro Parasitology Museum, Japan. Since our supervisor encourage us to take a step further and this was the only chance for us to explore the outside world. But still, even though it was not bad at all doing research regarding parasite but my heart was still longing for the 'silent mentor' programme. Hoping that I am the one attending the programme. Somehow, we are just human, not everything that we want is good for us. I believe everything happens for a reason. I keep on praying so that there were still a chance for 3 of us. I keep on praying until one day I stopped and start accepting the fact that only 2 of them will be going. Yes, I move on and redha.

Though I didn't have the chance to attend the programme, I still helping my two friends dealing with Tzu chi through email. Maybe this was my last contribution so that they can do their best and came back to Malaysia with knowledge that can be shared together. :')

to be continue... (I will explain about this programme in my next post, insyaAllah)

Chinese

May peace be upon u dear readers, :)

Today i wanna talk about chinese friends. :)
Actually, since the kindergarden untill now i was surrounded by chinese except during the primary school i was sent to typical malay school. And there was a scarce chinese student indeed.

During the kindergarden i would say i make friends with everyone and it seems to be fun. No hatred or racis towards each other. We play, run and tease each other and dance together (the things that i can reminiscence till today LOL). We even sit together to eat and most of my teacher was chinese too. All i can say was my kindergarden phase was awesome. And i dont have any problems being friends with them.

During the secondary school, i was sent by mother to the sekolah menengah sains labuan (SMSL). But then, during form 2 I decided to leave that school and i was sent to SM ST Anne Convent Labuan (SAC) one of the best girls school in labuan. :) since the school was under the church and goverment, so, most of the students were non- muslim and the numbers of chinese students and malay students were nearly the same.

In SAC, i also found that it was fun having chinese friends. I love them. We learn together, eat together, play together, we undergo PMR and SPM together and we share our stories together. We even had the same tuition place together! We were united together. And it was compulsory for them to come to my house every Hari Raya Eidulfitri. :D I love each of everyone of them. Cheah gin sin, abigail lim, lee kwang ling, danielle clare chua hui ling, shane o neil, thompson yunga, wandee, lim, madelyn ong, Tse lan, sophie foo and more!! :') i miss them. Esp my classmates 4A3 and 5A3. Do u guys know how much i miss u guys? U guys are an awsome one! Irreplaceable.

Now, in USM the environment was the same. But what i can see is that, there was more on racis things happen here. But not everyone was felt the same. Mybe they had their own reason and past experience for being like that. But, Alhmdulillah (praised belong to Allah) everything happens for a reason. At first, i dont really like my groupmate, but now i realised that, hate and love was different. It was more on love. Good always wins the heart. I can see everyone was adapting with these environment as well as my chinese friends too. We began to feel ease and love for each other. I can see that duing PBL now. I felt the competitiveness and it was the one that actually keep me moving on striving for excellence. Being better each day. The most important things was learning with chinese here can occasionally improve my english! And so far, never a friend of mine (chinese) laugh when i was speaking.

Actually, what are the purpose of me writing this kind of stuff?
Dear readers,
If u had chinese friends at school or even college, be-friend with them. We always like to judge a book by its cover (like me). But when u know the content of the book, u will fall for it. Know them and learn how most of them acquired success. Spread the love.

Wassalam,
Fina

Prayer

Prayers (Salat)

Sahih bukhari, Volume 1, Book 8, Number 345:

Narrated Abu Dhar:

Allah's Apostle said, "While I was at Mecca the roof of my house was opened and Gabriel descended, opened my chest, and washed it with Zam-zam water. Then he brought a golden tray full of wisdom and faith and having poured its contents into my chest, he closed it. Then he took my hand and ascended with me to the nearest heaven, when I reached the nearest heaven, Gabriel said to the gatekeeper of the heaven, 'Open (the gate).' The gatekeeper asked, 'Who is it?' Gabriel answered: 'Gabriel.' He asked, 'Is there anyone with you?' Gabriel replied, 'Yes, Muhammad I is with me.' He asked, 'Has he been called?' Gabriel said, 'Yes.' So the gate was opened and we went over the nearest heaven and there we saw a man sitting with some people on his right and some on his left. When he looked towards his right, he laughed and when he looked toward his left he wept. Then he said, 'Welcome! O pious Prophet and pious son.' I asked Gabriel, 'Who is he?' He replied, 'He is Adam and the people on his right and left are the souls of his offspring. Those on his right are the people of Paradise and those on his left are the people of Hell and when he looks towards his right he laughs and when he looks towards his left he weeps.'

Then he ascended with me till he reached the second heaven and he (Gabriel) said to its gatekeeper, 'Open (the gate).' The gatekeeper said to him the same as the gatekeeper of the first heaven had said and he opened the gate. Anas said: "Abu Dhar added that the Prophet met Adam, Idris, Moses, Jesus and Abraham, he (Abu Dhar) did not mention on which heaven they were but he mentioned that he (the Prophet ) met Adarn on the nearest heaven and Abraham on the sixth heaven. Anas said, "When Gabriel along with the Prophet passed by Idris, the latter said, 'Welcome! O pious Prophet and pious brother.' The Prophet asked, 'Who is he?' Gabriel replied, 'He is Idris." The Prophet added, "I passed by Moses and he said, 'Welcome! O pious Prophet and pious brother.' I asked Gabriel, 'Who is he?' Gabriel replied, 'He is Moses.' Then I passed by Jesus and he said, 'Welcome! O pious brother and pious Prophet.' I asked, 'Who is he?' Gabriel replied, 'He is Jesus.

Then I passed by Abraham and he said, 'Welcome! O pious Prophet and pious son.' I asked Gabriel, 'Who is he?' Gabriel replied, 'He is Abraham. The Prophet added, 'Then Gabriel ascended with me to a place where I heard the creaking of the pens." Ibn Hazm and Anas bin Malik said: The Prophet said, "Then Allah enjoined fifty prayers on my followers when I returned with this order of Allah, I passed by Moses who asked me, 'What has Allah enjoined on your followers?' I replied, 'He has enjoined fifty prayers on them.' Moses said, 'Go back to your Lord (and appeal for reduction) for your followers will not be able to bear it.' (So I went back to Allah and requested for reduction) and He reduced it to half. When I passed by Moses again and informed him about it, he said, 'Go back to your Lord as your followers will not be able to bear it.' So I returned to Allah and requested for further reduction and half of it was reduced. I again passed by Moses and he said to me: 'Return to your Lord, for your followers will not be able to bear it. So I returned to Allah and He said, 'These are five prayers and they are all (equal to) fifty (in reward) for My Word does not change.' I returned to Moses and he told me to go back once again. I replied, 'Now I feel shy of asking my Lord again.' Then Gabriel took me till we '' reached Sidrat-il-Muntaha (Lote tree of; the utmost boundry) which was shrouded in colors, indescribable. Then I was admitted into Paradise where I found small (tents or) walls (made) of pearls and its earth was of musk."

An eye-opening...

Peace be upon u readers,

Alhmdulillah (praised be upon Him).
This week we had started our new block which was musculoskeletal block (MSS).
There's a lot more to be covered than i had expected.
anatomy to be revise, physiology and pathophysiology..but im not going to tell u guys about this sort of study things.

Yesterday, was an eye opening day for me. There was something happening yesterday that makes me ponder how great the doctors responsibilities towards their patient or 'strangers'. Ceritanya macam ni....

Yesterday, at 10am I was having follow up for my teeth because few months ago I had a treatment for my teeth. Since the dental clinic is just in front of the HUSM, so, there had been so many people walk in and out of the hospital area.

As I already in a rush situation because I am late for about 10 min for that appointment, I walk faster and passed by all people there. Suddenly, a voice came from nowhere saying "Adik!".
I stopped my pace and I turned around finding where had the voice came from. I saw a middle-age woman stood near the dental clinic building wearing a nice pink baju kurung with a very anxious expression on her face. Our conversation:

The woman : Adik, mintak maaf, akak nak tanye, kalau nak jumpa pakar telinga macamane?

Me: Oh, akak sye pun tak pasti tapi slalunya orang akan pergi klinik rawatan keluarga dulu. Then, baru refer kat klinik pakar telinga. 

The woman: Ye ke adik? sebab anak akak yang ke-2 tu... (sad expression) dia ade masalah telinga dik. sekarang dia tingkatan 2. semakin hari semakin teruk tahap pendengaran anak akak tu. akak pun x tahu kenapa? cikgu kat sekolah pun dah bagitahu akak haritu, pelajaran dia semakin menurun. satu lagi anak akak tu perempuan, akak risau sangat. Sekarang pun bila bercakap dekat macam akak dgn adik ni, dia tak berapa dgr... sbb tu akak nak jumpa pakar telinga.

Apa yg eye-opening nya?? I bet you all maybe a bit confused?
Firstly, what comes on my mind after our conversation is that, why she chose me amongst people that passing by there to ask for that kind of question since that time Im not wearing my white coat. But maybe it is due to my student card that hanging over my neck she thought that I could have known better than anyone else. (but actually I'm not very sure how the procedure should be)

Secondly, I was thinking that, usually, we are not trusting on a stranger to pour out our problems right?
I realised that at first it was just a simple question... but then, when someone already develop a trust to you, they tend to tell you more... This woman I saw yesterday was a mother who wants the best for her daughter. I saw love in her eyes as well as anxiety... All she want is only her daughter to get better whatever it takes.

Thirdly, I realised that this woman hold a hope towards the doctor to cure her daughter. Yesterday, I felt as if I'm the real doctor with a patient came with her complaint. Unfortunately, I was in a rush and can't help that much. A bit dissapointment... Until today I was reflecting myself, being a doctor is not what everyone was thinking like sitting on a chair with own office room (mcm house), relax and getting paid higher, famous and etc. Actually, we bears a very highload of responsible on our shoulder. Our patient's life is on our hand.
Just one simple mistake will cause longlife suffering... It should be perfect.

At the end of the conversation, I saw a hope on her face. She was going to do what I had tell her. She says 'thank you' several times and nodded her head. How she respect me though im just a medical student who was going to get dental treatment on that ordinary day.

Dear medical student, see how high people's hope in us. Don't make our patient lose that hope in us. Be that 1st hope they had at the very first time seeing us remain until the end. Study hard and smart, be a good doctor and respect our patient. Seek for knowledge and don't give up. Everyone always had that potential to achieve what they dreamt for. So, once u r in this pathway, don't look back. Always move forward.

Assalam.
fina

Team

Peace be upon u brother and sisters, :)

0733 am,
29nov, thurs,

The clouds decorating the sky,
The chirps of the birds seems like a musical sound,
Everything seems to start their day with a perfect mood,
Alhmdulillah...

Today i had no classes, im freee!! Except on the evening we had assessment and feedback session. *sigh
So, im taking this extra time to scrible on my blog about my life recently.
Alhmdulillah, everything seems fine. All the PBL n clinical tching class was very enjoyable.
And yeah, yesterday my team, futsal team had a match with kelantan team. :)

It was a very tough match yesterday yet we all had so much fun. Yeah, i played futsal. :) and i really2 love my team so much. We had a very strong n enthusiast capten, :) kak anna, and a very good striker n defender, kak zima, kak qina, kak fatin, kak ina, kak dayah, kak ainur, kak laili n farra. And not to forget our 'daebak' keeper, harina and hayati :). They have a very good defensive senses. Tehee!

Yeah, i never regret being involved in futsal. I love what im doing. I love this team. But, yeah, every meet has their good bye. Anyhow, memories will always remain there to be treasure. Memories that im gonna cherish forever.

Team Nurani and Murni. :) One team for all. Congratulations for nurani team this year 2013 getting champion  for SUKAD 2013. 

All this pic is from 2012. :)

Till then. Assalam.

fina

Jealousy is healthy?

Peace be upon u to all readers...

Alhamdulillah (Praised be upon Allah swt) after a long time, today i managed to steal a bit of my time to scribble something on my blog.

I just dont know where to begin... First of all i would like to say that currently im on semester 4, year 2 of medicine in Universiti Sains Malaysia. So, mana2 adik2 yg baru lepas ambil result SPM yg berminat nak ambik medic, dont hesitate to ask me regarding this course. InsyaAllah i will try my best to help. Congratulation to those getting excellence results! May Allah grant u with blessed succes. To those that not made it, dont be sad. Everything happens for a reason. Reflect back and learn from mistake. Don't grieve too long. This is just a beginning. There will be much more to be face out there.

Basically what i wanna touch on for today's topic is regarding jealousy. From the previous post i already touch a bit on this but that post is actually made for someone that i care truly. So, bila tajuk jealousy, smua org akan fikir pasal jealous on bercinta dgn pasangan right? buat actually, what i wanna talk here is that, jealousy toward friends. I mean... Best friends. yep. Do u ever feel jealous toward ur besties? I bet everyone does. In the aspect of study? friendship or love? wealth? health? personality? popularity?
How does the feeling develop? is it good or bad?

Now, dear readers...
I had bestfriends too. Just like everyone else. Yes, sometimes that feeling does developed in me. It depends on how we control it. Either we treat it in a good way or  in a bad way. If we sees it in a bad way, then, it will turn out to be bad and vice versa.

For examples, I had a bestfriend. :) So, when u had declared somebody as ur bestfriend, u thought that, this besties MUST always be besides u. This is not some kind of bad feeling like lesbian or something. But usually girls are tend to magnified their feelings. for guys, im not sure how it goes.
So, when ur bestfriend had become close to another friend, u tend to get jealous right? Or when ur bestfriend ditch u for his boyfriend, u get mad right?

and how about jealousy towards achievement? popularity?
when we are close with somebody, we tend to compare ourselves to them while we ourselves have our own specialty that sometimes we didn't really appreciate that we had it.

Dear readers,
Being jealous to our own besties is somehow not a bad feeling. also, im not saying it is a good feeling too. But, it depends on the way of us get control of it. Firstly, in the aspect of friendship, we doesn't own 100% our besties. She/ he also belongs to others. They have their own rights to be friend others too. Being friends with others sometimes may open our mind n thought. We can't control our friend. We want the best for them right? so, jealousy is love. but excessive jealousy is personality disorder. LoL.

 Being jealous that our besties spends more time with their boyfie also troubles us. Readers, dont ask ur friend to get them choose between love and friendship. It will just make things worst. What u had to do is to talk with ur friend nicely. Kadang2 sarcastic pun jgnlah smpai buat kwn terasa hati. Sometimes, we are the one that had to start first. because, people in love sometimes forgot. Ask them to spend time with u. This will make things better.

In the aspect of achievement i will say that, I do sometimes get jealous with some of my besties. Their popularity, their life, their achievement, but somehow, every human that born in this world owns their unique and special life gifted by god. So, be grateful of what u have as not everyone had what u own now. :) Jealousy is also an encouragement. It pushes us to work harder so that we will achieve better like others :)

So, readers that i dear most,
jealous is sometimes can be healthy, but make sure to be in controlled of it. :)

Assalam.
fina

Friends

Dear friend, 

I can't promise you

That I will never leave

That we will never grow apart

I can't promise you

That we won't fight

Or say things that hurt

I can't promise to

Always be there to wipe away the tears

Or hold you when you're scared

But I can promise you

That if I leave I will always come back

That no matter the distance I'll always be right there with you, in your heart

I can promise

That if we fight I will make it up

I will never let words tear us apart

I can promise you

That when you're sad and scared 

I'll always be just a phone call away

To talk you through those stormy days

Time will take its toll

And distance may tear us apart

But one thing will never change

The love I have for you in my heart

Let me introduce to you all the awesome people that ever comes to make my life become more meaningful ;)

Nurdiana mat palas, lemah lembut mcm kapas. tap hati batu mcm karang d laut tu. hehe(the strongest person that ive ever known) 

Fa'izah Abd Samad. Gila mcm aku, kuat mamam, genius maths, future accountant ;)

:))) Nadirah suni, muka cina, tap sbnrnya melayu. Keras kepala tap understanding :) gila2, peminat tegar SNSD, ajk multimedia bilik 113. hahahahahaha

Kak maz, umur nmpak mcm bdk 15, penasihat yg baik bila nak shopping, kecik mcm aku, baik :)

Wan Nor Hayati Ansop, nmpak keras diluar, tap hati sentimental gila. layan lagu2 jiwang, penyayang :) x prnah fail introduce mknn sedap kat aku, suka blur. haha 

Harina Horsi, Undescribable, antara org paling gila yg aku penah jmpa :D org yg x prnah bosan teman aku lunch lepas PBL, slalu risau psl kegemukan tap gemuk2 pun still lawa ;), sentimental jgk, always make me laugh, Friendly dgn smua org, very ambitious person :)

Arif Adam, slalu kena gossip dgn mamat ni sbb sna sini slalu sama2, sbb sama PBL n SGD. haha. x kesah pun dgn gossip org. Suka pnjam nota aku pastu tggalkan 'souvenir'. Mulut agak laser tap laser bertempat. mmpunyai hati yg lembut n gila2 jgk. gojes! HAHAHAHA

Danielle Clare, highschool bestie. prnah gaduh yg teruk. tap gaduh2 pun dia x prnah lupa aku walaupun aku slalu lupa dia. Never give up on our friendship. walaupun skrg blaja kat Russia pun still ingt aku. One of my special chinese friend that i always treasure in my heart. 

Sandra Bari, Kawan dari skolah menengah jgk, :) baik n innocent sgt. senang dibuli. tap mmg jujur n setia dlm persahabatan. <3 p="p">

Nurul ADlina Syakira Bustamih, Comel gila mcm teddy bear, slalu ada scandal cinta, hehehehe. baik, gila2, kembar aku masa skolah menengah. 

Nuur Amalina Mat fisal, mmpunyai pemikiran yg matang, suka sgt borak psl politik dgn dia, suka bw aku p mkn tmpat sedap2, sgt competitive, pandai gila maths, never leave me whenever i need her. cuma aku jak yg slalu lupa yg dia slalu ada. :(((( syg awk!!

Mardhiyah: seorg muslimah yg cntik bergaya, baik sgt2, tenang, slalu ajk aku pg islamic talk :) lemah lembut

Fatimah Zahrah: Loveable person, mmpunyai semangt yg kuat utk study, ambitious, sentimental, suka kpop esp suju, slalu teman aku study masa asasi, org kelantan yg sporting :) syg awk

Fakhriah sani, :) kelakar, dari asasi smpai skrg still study d tmpat yg sama, ambitious, kuat semangat, :) bijak, gila2 n comel 

Raihan Nadira redzuan, cantik ;) muka flawless, tinggi mcm model, bijak sgt, sporting, lemah lembut mcm kain satin, peneman setia sy bila Natrah zainal(roomate) pergi mesir. kuat makan. sbb tu mok! hehe ;p

Afiqah Norsham, understanding, pndai bg nasihat kat aku, matured, kuat tido, have a very good parents. :)

slalu x berkira dgn aku. kemas.

Athira Mazli, sgt rajin, x sombong, friendly gilaaaaa, gila2, hehe. byk ckp, suka buat joke utk aku ketawa. Gosh! i miss my roomate in PALAM like seriously!

At last... Natrah Zainal, irreplaceable roomate. hehehehe. byk ajr aku tntang life, sgt sporting, 1st person yg ajr aku pkai shawl dgn kemas, perfectionist, kuat tido =,=''', kuat mkn, sgt fashionable n up to date, pandai gila. :) skrg kat Mesir.

Sbnrnya, byk lg org yg special muncul dlm hidup aku. smua irreplaceable,

cuma x dpt nak letak smua kat sni. whoever yg nak aku describe psl dorg,just drop a comment below ;)

Sincerely,

Affina fatin